How often do you analyze your performance?  You know, whatever it is you do for a living or do for fun, after it’s over, you run it all again in your mind unpicking all the good bits and all the bad bits and reliving the triumphs and the failures?

And how long do you re-run the movie and the soundtrack after the event itself is over?  When you leave the stage/course/court/meeting room/insert whatever is most appropriate for you, after your amazing performance, do you hear the compliments and congratulations long into the night?  Do you get any sleep at all?  And the next morning are you still riding high on the crest of a wave feeling smug at how fantastic you are?

What about when the feedback isn’t so good.  What if people don’t appreciate all your effort and hard work?  Or what if it’s not other people’s criticism, what if it’s yours?  If something hasn’t quite gone according to plan, how long do you torture yourself for?

I was listening recently to Sarah Millican on the radio and she had some very sound advice.  She said she uses the “11 o’clock rule” which means that she is only allowed to feel smug or s**t until 11 o’clock the morning after a gig.  Then she has to let go and approach that evening’s performance fresh and with a “let’s see” approach.

That seemed incredibly sensible to me.  Because regardless of whether your performance has gone well or gone badly/not as expected/wrong/insert whatever is most appropriate for you, no amount of running it again in your head will make it even better or even worse.  It’s over, in the past.  What’s important now is to approach the next performance as if it’s the first, giving it your best shot and being open to possibility about the outcome.

You see, if you assume that a previously “bad” (I use the term loosely knowing that you can put your own meaning onto what “bad” means to you) outcome means that another “bad” outcome will follow you won’t put yourself into an optimum state for success.  And if you assume that a previously “good” (again you can put your own meaning on “good” for you) outcome means another “good” outcome will follow you’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t!

Sometimes the outcome is not solely dependent upon you. For example, other people’s input/mood/appreciation of the same things/weather conditions/temperature/etc/etc might affect things.  Then, although you can do your utmost to make sure your performance is as good as it can be, you can’t control outside factors.

So, my point is this.  Prepare as well as you can.  Give yourself the chance to be the best you can be.  Accept that there are other factors outwith you that you can’t control.  Be open to “let’s see”.  When you do that it’s much easier to go for it, try, see what happens and whatever the outcome, you’ll be just fine.

And with the 11 o’clock rule, just think of how much more of the day you’ll be able to enjoy being in the present, noticing what’s actually happening in the world….. instead of in your head!

As the years have passed since I left school (a scarily long time ago now!) I have observed time and time and time again that had lessons in physics and maths been taught with a practical application in mind, they might have been so much easier to understand.  And not only might I have understood them, but I might have enjoyed them and been able to have a grasp of what their real life purpose and application is.

Take Professor Brian Cox for instance.  The Wonders of the Universe.  Just think for a moment about how he explains stuff.  He’s like a child in a toy shop looking at rockets and spaceships and dangling stars and moons, wondering how he can reach out and touch these sparkly things that take our minds beyond the outer reaches of the world as we know it.  His voice is like the whisper of a child who’s run to the fireplace on Christmas morning, seen the bulging stockings and almost breathlessly says, with eyes shining, “Santa’s been!”

Now, when I was at school, had the machinations of electro magnetic fields and electrical currents been explained with such wonderment and sense of how awesomely amazing the universe is in all its intricate workings, there may have been the slightest possibility that I would have been interested and that that interest could have sparked off a decision to take my learning in a totally different direction to the one that I took.

Now, I say this not to generate regrets at where I am in life.  Nor do I suddenly wish to become an astronaut when I grow up.  No.  I say this to make another point altogether.  Just as physics was very technical and school text booky when I was a nipper, maths was very similar.  Now what I’m about to speak about is strictly speaking, arithmetic, but the point is the same.  Adding.  Subtracting.  Multiplying.  These were all things you did to abstract numbers to get an outcome.  For example, adding 2 plus 2 makes 4.  Subtracting 2 from 4 leaves 2.  Multiplying 2 by 2 makes 4.  Now, while we are dealing with pure numbers in abstract form, it’s all very simple.  But when you place these numbers into a real life context something odd happens.

When we add 2 apples to 2 pears we still end with 2 apples and 2 pears….we have 4 pieces of fruit but not 4 of the same thing exactly!  Sometimes when we talk about people communicating with each other, we say that 2 plus 2 equals 5 and although technically that can never be, we all have an understanding of what we mean by that phrase!  Sometimes when we subtract or take stuff away, it can feel like we’ve lost a great deal more than a simple abstract calculation of numbers!  And when we multiply our real life experiences of joyful occasions, we can end up off the scale in terms of the exhilaration and excitement that we feel….and conversely when we multiply our sense of despondency at things that don’t go the way we want, we slide off the scale in the opposite direction…..both polar opposites in the extremes of simple multiplication of the way we feel about stuff.

Now, what’s she on about? I hear you ask. 

Firstly, that when we put abstract stuff into the real world it’s context and meaning becomes much more complex, much more fascinating and has way more impact than we ever imagine sitting poring over a text book and trying to make sense of it all.

Secondly, that the real adding, subtracting and multiplying is going on all around us, all day, every day.  How?  Quite simply in the things we do for ourselves and for other people.  In the things others do for us.  In how we represent the world to ourselves and in how we represent ourselves to other people.  Think about it this way….

When you interact with others, do you add to their experience of their day?  Do you take something away from it?  Or, do you multiply their experience so that what you contribute is felt several times over?  Professor Brian Cox has added to my appreciation of science and the world in a way that no teacher at school ever did.  What might I be doing now if someone had been an “adder” or a “multiplier” in that department instead of a very definite “subtractor”?  I don’t know.  And as my life is one that I enjoy and wouldn’t swap for all the stars and moons in the Universe, the question in relation to physics and maths doesn’t much matter.  But, when you apply it to the deeper meaning in your life, your values, your beliefs and your identity, it’s worth a little more consideration.

How many times do you think something and then realise that that thought is actually a belief about yourself?  And then when you think a little more, you realise that your belief really began as someone else’s?  And when you think a little more, you realise how much that belief has shaped your life.  And I’d like to ask you to trust yourself to think a little more, and be really honest about whether that person whose belief shaped your belief, was an “adder”, a “subtractor” or a “multiplier” in your life?  

We’ll all have our own interpretations of what these terms mean to us but I’d like you to consider as you go about your daily business, what is your impact on your own life and the lives of those around you?  Do you add, subtract or multiply?  What do you bring to multiply the Wonders of the Universe?

If this has got you thinking, please get in touch.  We’d love to hear from you and if you’d like the additional opportunity to discuss this further, especially if it’s “shoogled your map”, please call us now 08456 017567.

I used to stand there shaking like a leaf.  Literally.  In fact, it was worse than that.  I was practically sick thinking about it.  No one could really understand how I felt when all around me people seemed to be so much more relaxed.  Success was something that I just couldn’t imagine when it seemed that everyone else was so much better.  I just seemed to have so much difficulty.

I know I should have been able to pull myself together more but I just couldn’t.  I don’t think  they understood how hard it was when you have no confidence all the time.  You see, they thought it was easy and had no idea how I was feeling.  They would just stand up there and go for it so obviously they had no pangs of uncertainty.  I mean, if they had known how much I was quivering they wouldn’t have suggested we went in the first place, would they?

The thing is, if I’d know then how to take it easy when I was up there, to just let go and feel it, everything would have been much easier.  I mean, I wouldn’t have had that terrible feeling of dread beforehand and then I wouldn’t have been in such a state.  It’s silly to get so worked up over something which is meant to be fun.  And watching everyone else enjoying themselves really used to make me even more frustrated.  How could they just behave like it was normal?

Of course, now I know what I know, it’s totally different.  I can do anything.  I actually even enjoy it.  And now I even know that they get themselves worked up while I remain in a lovely place.  Calm.  Relaxed.  Looking forward to going out there and just being in the moment and succeeding.  Yes, imagine…me?  Succeeding!

You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about, aren’t you?  Or maybe you know what I’m talking about.  Or maybe you think you know?  I wonder….?

You see now, I just step up, look straight ahead, set up and hit the bloody ball!  Straight down the fairway….yes, that’s right, I’m talking about golf!

I wonder what you were thinking as you read this?  What ‘map’ did you put on what I was saying?  What sense did you make of it before I told you?  I wonder how many of you guessed?

Please would you do me a favour?  Please will you e-mail me at lindacameron@inspireforimpact.com and tell me?  I really  want to know what you were thinking…..

and I’ll tell you why, next time  

If you, like me, listen to Chris Evans on the radio in the morning then you may have heard this morning’s ‘pause for thought’ slot.  It was about the space you make for others.

Now, I’m sure we’ve all become familiar with the idea of needing to find our own space, or needing some space, or time out for ourselves, but today’s thought was about making space for others.

If you’ve been watching the recent BBC Earthflight series about birds and their flying habits, you’ll be familiar with how they fly in and out of each other’s slipstream during their lengthy migrations across the planet.  And of course, being in the middle of Glasgow on a busy Saturday afternoon can feel like a mass migration as you get stuck in a crowd, walking behind someone else, at their pace and being forced to go in their direction because there are so many other people around you and walking towards you in the opposite direction to the one you’re going in.  The birds are cleverer than us though, they don’t get distracted by something in a shop window catching their eye and stop suddenly mid flight causing the bird behind them to crash into them at full throttle because of the lack of warning!  No, they just fly and flow, seemingly easily and effortlessly.

We on the other hand tend to hash and bash our way through life dotting and darting, trying to get past, failing miserably and falling back into line behind the obstacle in front until something in a window catches our own eye and then we swerve sharply leaving a trail of destruction behind us.

I wonder what the birds would think if they watched us on our flight paths?  What would they think of the slipstream we create for each other?  You see, the thing about the birds is that when they travel, they have a flock mentality where each one has it’s place and the reason they fit together and flow in and out of position is because they’re hardwired to do so.  They know that if some take the lead for a while it’ll let the others conserve energy so that when the time comes they can swap places and let the leaders fall back into the passenger position, resting their weary wings a little while the others take on the head wind….they create a slipstream for one another quite intentionally.  They know that in order for the whole gang to make it safely they need to make space for one another.

Now, it’s the 25th of January as I write, and that means it’s Rabbie Burns’ birthday, and in the words of Rabbie I say to you ”oh would some power the giftie gie us, to see oursels as ithers see us”…

I wonder if, just for a moment, you could imagine floating up out of your body and like a bird fly high in the sky.  Enjoy the sensations of soaring way up above and then (unless you’re afraid of heights, in which case, call me now!) look down and notice the you that’s in your body down below.  Where are you?  Who’s around you?  In which direction do you move?  Who’s in your slipstream?  Will you stop suddenly, causing them to crash or will you flow in and out allowing those around you to slip in and out as well?  Do you take on the head wind or do you create it?  Do you ease the strain for others and let them rest their weary wings or do they have to flap harder because of you?  Just notice what you notice when you “…see yoursel’ as ithers see you” and when you do swoop back down and into your body, take a minute to think about who’s in your slipstream.  What can you do to make their journey more of a flow than a flap?!

I’m meeting up with an old chum tonight.  A really old chum.  Not in the sense that she’s ancient in years, but in the sense that I’ve known her since our days of school girl nonsense and the Tetley Tea Club.  I don’t remember exactly what the Club did particularly or stood for (other than a tasty brew obviously) but the name sticks in my mind, as it does in hers, and so we shall enjoy a reunion this evening as we blether over a different kind of brew….one that comes in a glass with a stem and is poured from a bottle, although savoured just as much as the brew of our younger days. 

Halcyon days.  It’s funny, as we get older, what we remember of our younger selves and how we remember.  When meeting up with someone we haven’t seen for a long time, there is always that frisson of excitement and wondering what will they look like now? What will we talk about?  What will they be like?  What will they think of me?  How will I look to them? What will they notice about me now?   And I wonder what they would hear, if your thoughts about what they’ll notice about you, were thought out loud?!

Bet you’ve just freaked yourself out now, haven’t you?  What would happen if you turned your awareness inwards for a few minutes?  Try it and notice how you speak to yourself in your head.  What would others hear if we could hear what you say to yourself and about yourself?  Are you horrified at the thought of others hearing your thoughts?  Embarrassed?

Why is it that we are often so different on the inside to the person that we project on the outside?  And which one is the real you?  Somehow we can feel that the real you isn’t quite good enough for other people to truly see.  It’s a bit like when we women put on make up….being seen in the outside world, bare faced and natural….aaargh! perish the thought!

What happens when we create this conflict for ourselves?  Thinking and telling ourselves stuff that we’ve just made up in our own heads?  I’d like to show you how a little thought which may appear real once you’ve engaged with it, can shape your life and become very real indeed.

Thoughts, when engaged with, create feelings.

Feelings lead to action.

Actions shape our lives and are what we are judged by.

One way or another, those thoughts you are trying so hard to hide will find their way out into the world, and have an effect.

People might as well be able to hear your thoughts because your actions are going to reveal them soon enough anyway.

However, you should also realise that… Just because you thought it, doesn’t make it true.

And so I approach tonight with no thought.  I’m not wondering anything.  I’m simply looking forward to meeting up and experiencing the evening.  And what I will see is the person I knew as a little girl, when thoughts were for making up fantastic adventures of infinite possibility…the adventures which make up the memories of those halcyon days.  As children we have no difficulty in realising that what we make up isn’t real.  And as adults, we’re those self same children in older skin!  When did our thinking change?

Thinking Skills, Edinburgh 28th January 2012, 10am-4pm.  To book now call us 08456 017567, e-mail say-hello@inspireforimpact.com & find out more about us at www.inspireforimpact.com.

5 more sleeps and then it’s the day we’ve all been waiting for! The day when you find out whether you’ve been naughty or nice and if Santa really does know who’s good or bad!  Yes, that’s right, it’s Christmas.  Stockings overflow with gifts, you’ve eaten the entire contents of your selection box before breakfast and you can’t wait to show off your new toys to your family and friends….or perhaps not.

Listening to a well known radio station the other day, I was struck by the conversation between the presenters as they discussed the fact that once you’re no longer a child, Christmas loses its meaning.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that a rather astounding statement.  I know that I’ve been known to comment on how commercial Christmas has become and I do believe that there is a huge over emphasis on material stuff.  And there is of course the religious side to it….rather fundamental to the whole thing coming about in the first place….but both those things aside, there is I believe, plenty reason to celebrate Christmas time regardless of your spending prowess, your religious leanings, or belief in Santa Claus.  And that is, that it is simply a good thing to have a time in the year for peace and goodwill.

A time for giving, for giving of yourself.  While you plan dinner menus, party nights and social gatherings, take a minute to ask yourself, how can you stir in the love?  What extra special ingredient can you add to whatever activities you will enjoy with family and friends to make the memory extra special?  It might be something very simple but very meaningful to those around you.  Who can you spend time with who would enjoy your company and whose company you would also enjoy?

My memories of Christmas time are of happy times spent with family and friends.  Lots of smiles and laughter.  Gifts of course, but what was most meaningful wasn’t the most expensive or the biggest or the most flash item.  It was the little things that had been given because they held significance for both the giver and the receiver.  Something that related to a conversation earlier in the year.  An item that invoked a happy memory.  A gift which showed that the giver had been paying special attention to the kind of things that mattered to me.  The kinds of gifts that come accompanied with a tag that says “I saw this, and thought of you.”  To be thought of by another is a truly generous gift indeed.  And the gift wasn’t always a something, sometimes it was simply time spent with others.  Such is the joy of ‘time off’ at Christmas.  It’s a time to spend time being with people.  Just enjoying each other’s company.  Just enjoying ‘being’ together.

So my Christmas wish to you is to give generously.  Think of those who are special to you.  Let your thoughts of them lead your actions.  Tell them  “I thought of you, and so I give you this.”  “I thought of you, and so here I am.”

And in the giving of loving kindness, there’s still room to let your inner child escape.  Just because you’re an adult, you can still hope for a selection box on Christmas morning….or maybe a chocolate orange or two!

Merry Christmas!  

Well, what a week we’ve just had!  Snow, hail, ice, rain, wind, gales and then a little bit of sunshine thrown in for good measure.  And I wonder how many of you thought that winter was well and truly here and that that was all your festive outings and celebrations cancelled for the month as thoughts ran wild with all kinds of imaginings….?  

Does any of that sound familiar?  I know in my household last Monday as the snow blanket  got thicker and deeper, Christmas lunch outings were cancelled and rearranged as many phone calls took place to discuss the relative ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ in relation to travelling further afield.

Similarly, by Thursday, as the gales ripped through the streets, flashings flew off roofs, drain pipes fell off walls and chaos reigned, thoughts turned to those requiring to fly over the coming days and discussions about the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ of air travel replaced those about road safety on snow and ice!

And here we are, one week on, after surviving another gale, but no snow, no ice, not much sunshine and we’re left with the typical dreich, damp, winter days we would generally expect at this time of year.  Life has returned to normal….as so often is the way.  And given that what has happened over the last 8 or 9 days is not unusual it seems surprising that we still get carried away with our thoughts about what might happen when we know full well, that it probably won’t.

Which brings me to another event where ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were in abundance!  This time it was a friend travelling to an event in a theatre in the centre of town.  And while there were no worries specifically expressed about the excursion itself, it was clear from what was said that lurking beneath the surface were many concerns related to physically getting to and from and about.

Once the event was over, my friend said he had really enjoyed himself, in fact, he’d enjoyed the experience much more than he thought he would.  Now, how familiar is that?

And I ask you, how many times has the thought of something been much worse than the actual thing itself?

You see, generally, we spend so much time in our own heads, thinking about what might happen or what’s already happened or what could happen.  And these thoughts lead to all sorts of feelings.  And these feelings lead to a whole lot of other stuff.  And then all sorts of things happen or don’t happen (especially if it’s snowy or windy!!)….all started by a little thought.

Ever wondered what it would be like if you didn’t have the little thought?  Or if you noticed the little thought and then let it move on, out of your head, gone?  I wonder if this Christmas, when there seems to be so much to think about,  if you could do something different for a change?

When you notice a thought popping into your head, take a minute to notice if it’s an ‘if’ or a ‘but’ type of thought, you know, one of those disaster scenarios about to kick off in your mind, stop the thought right there.  Thank it for popping in to say hello, then send it on its way.  Notice how lovely and peaceful it is in that head of yours!